


The struggles of being in love with your best friend

by mkblj



Category: BTOB (Band)
Genre: Cute, I don't know how tags work, I guess so, M/M, One Shot, a few bad words but not too much, i don't like swear words but they're great at expresing feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:15:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27331792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mkblj/pseuds/mkblj
Summary: The title sums it up quite well...
Relationships: Lee Changsub/Yook Sungjae
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	The struggles of being in love with your best friend

Feelings work in a strange way. Sometimes, you fall for someone obvious, you think it’s a perfect match, and it all goes great. But that’s pretty much a fairy-tale, come on, most of the time, you fall for someone random, throw yourself into it and hope for the best. At least, that’s how it is for Sungjae. He thinks such a thing as ideal type is ridiculous because even though you might not be attracted to someone, it doesn’t stop them for being beautiful in their own way. Sungjae thinks that people who aren’t good looking are just people who don’t put any effort in their appearances. In the hospital where he works, there’s a nurse who looks exhausted most of the time and wears her hair tied in a messy bun. You wouldn’t check her out twice, yet if you cross path with her outside her working place, she’s basically a goddess. And Sungjae isn’t even straight. So, to tell you the power of putting effort into how you look. But nevermind about that, Sungjae is just digressing from his main source of thinking these days.

You see, Sungjae’s a doctor; he doesn't have much time to date. And when he does, his head is often filled with work while on his date and it's not quite glamorous. Oh, and of course, he’s in love with his best friend, but it’s a story we’ll keep for later. Or maybe not. Sungjae’s a bit of a workaholic and doesn’t see the time fly by while he’s at work, he’s been forced out of the ER because of it in the past. Although that was before he started specializing in intern medicine, so goodbye the ER. He’s passionate, but it’s too much stress, he works great under pressure, but it’s too draining. He does still go there when he is needed though.

He met Changsub, the best friend he’s in love with, at a club back when he was still in med school, and they quickly became friends. Actually, there's a funny story there, Sungjae got pushed by his overly eager dancing friends into a table that crushed on the person standing behind it, Changsub, who fell ungracefully on the floor, now that he thinks about it, it’s not funny, but everything seems funnier when you’re tipsy. Especially since Changsub stood back up laughing his heart out. Sungjae spent the rest of the night apologizing while keeping an eye on him because there might be a concussion, he had fallen pretty hard on his head. They ended up falling asleep in Sungjae’s car, somehow exchanged number and the next free weekend Sungjae had, he was over at Changsub’s to watch a soccer game with a bunch of other friends.

Sungjae isn’t quite sure how, or rather when, they became best friends. It just happened. You know, it was a friends-at-first-sight situation. Come on, it has happened to you too right? You start talking to someone and you just know it’s a great friendship beginning. Before he knew it, Changsub was the first person he’d call when he had good news, or bad new, or any news. And he spent basically all of his free time over at his place.

By the way, Sungjae wishes he could be able to tell what Changsub’s job is exactly, but he honestly has no idea. It involves lots of money, rich people and terrible working hours. But apparently that makes him happy. He works for a big bank. And that’s all pretty much Sungjae understands about it.

So, somehow, Changsub became his best friend. Which means Sungjae was the first person he called when he broke up with his boyfriend. A boyfriend Sungjae had heard much about but never seen. Which was exactly why they’d broken up; the guy was just never there. Changsub even said he saw Sungjae more than him. To be true, Sungjae sometimes genuinely forgot Changsub wasn’t single. Even though, he’d often bring up the fact that is boyfriend hadn’t called, or texted, or anything actually. Sungjae really doesn’t get why Changsub took so long giving up that shitty relationship. Anyway, that night, they drank their soul out because even though Sungjae didn’t know Changsub’s now ex-boyfriend personally, that guy was definitely an asshole. Who would leave a guy like Changsub? If Sungjae was dating someone like him, he’d never let him go. Changsub has a shitty temper, but he’s also the kindest guy out there. He goes with Sungjae on his fishing trips even though he finds it utterly boring. He knows Sungjae finds it relaxing which is why he comes along. He never complains when Sungjae’s weird cooking ends up tasting bad but always congratulates him cheerfully when it turns out good. He’s always supportive of what Sungjae does, and is there to comfort him. He’s also great at making fun of him when the situation allows it. He’s actually quite the master on that part. Because he’s funny too. And he makes Sungjae feels funny too because Sungjae’s never met anyone who laughs that easily before. No really, he doesn’t get why anyone would ever leave Changsub.

Now, you’ve probably guessed it (also, we established it before); Sungjae has quite a bit of a crush on his best friend. It took him a surprising amount of time to realize it. Then again, it’s a funny story when you think about it. Sungjae was getting off work pretty late, there had been a huge accident and everybody in the hospital had been called for help. Sungjae then had gone home, in a sleepy daze. And only realized he had gone to Changsub’s place on auto-pilot instead of his own once he was in front of the door. He figured he was too tired to go back to his place, thinking that since he spent more time at Changsub’s apartment than his own, it wasn’t that surprising he’d think of there as his home. He knocked, not really believing Changsub would hear. Once that guy was asleep, there was no waking him up. And for the minute he waited at the door, he should have enjoyed the blissful ignorance of his own feelings because it came crashing down on him quite suddenly when Changsub opened the door. His hair was sticking up in odd place and he seemed too asleep to be surprised Sungjae was there. All Sungjae could think of was how cute he looked in his pyjamas, there were little teddy-bears on it. And Sungjae badly explained that he felt too drained out to drive home from the hospital so he had figured he could crash here. He was glad that Changsub was too sleepy to take note of the fact that his apartment was a ten minute drive farther to the hospital than Sungjae’s. But the older never even questioned it. He just let Sungjae in, telling him to eat whatever he wanted and fell back asleep on the couch while Sungjae was answering him on why he was finishing work so late. Those few words they exchanged were eyes-opener for Sungjae. It wasn’t the apartment that felt like home. It was Changsub. Wherever Changsub was, was home. Sungjae sighs thinking about his realization again.

Even though he tries his best to ignore his feelings, sometimes, he lets himself imagine what it would be like if they were together but it only saddens him because no-one is buried deeper in the friend-zone than Sungjae is. He sometimes wonders what Changsub thinks of him. Because whenever he feels like they could become something more, Changsub throws a “you’re such a good friend” his way and he’s back at square one.

He could try to woo him of course, and he has, subtly, more than once. Dressing up nicer will only makes Changsub ask him about whom he’ll be meeting next, the only nice thing about it is that whenever he shows up dressed nicely, Changsub looks disappointed because he assumes Sungjae will leave sooner. Whenever he suggests they do something, Changsub immediately jumps on the occasion to make it a friendly outing, with other people too. But at least, Sungjae gets to spend time with him anyway. When Sungjae gives him compliments, he either takes them as a joke either asks Sungjae if he’s drunk. And whenever Sungjae smiles at him, he smiles back and it sends butterflies everywhere in Sungjae’s stomach, so many he feels like Changsub should be able to see it. But he just goes on with whatever they’re doing. And sometimes, Sungjae blushes madly and Changsub asks him if there’s someone he likes around without suspecting one bit that Sungjae could be blushing because of him.

And Sungjae doesn’t want to over-interpret things, but he sometimes really wonders if Changsub hasn’t put him so deep in the friend-zone because he has feelings for him. Of course, every deluded guy who’s in love with their best friend will say this, but really. Sometimes, he catches Changsub looking at him funny. Like he’s amazed or something and it always makes Sungjae over-think over what’s going on in his head. And Sungjae’s not the only one showing up unexpected at random times. Once, Changsub showed up drunk at six in the morning and kept saying he had something important to tell him before passing out on his kitchen floor. He never brought that night back up, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t still wonder what it was all about… And sometimes, they have moments. Like, the air shifts and it feels like they’re the only ones in the world. And Sungjae knows Changsub feels it too because he’s always the first one to snap out of it. And it hurts, because Sungjae wishes he understood him better.

Now if he does, why is he friend-zoning him? That’s what Sungjae was wondering before his beeper calls him to the ER and he sees Changsub waving at him from a bed. How he can be so happy at a time like this makes Sungjae wonder about his mental-state. He walks up to him, Changsub doesn’t like hospitals so he’s pretty sure he’s going to be a brat, trying to get out of there as soon as he can. As he is walking over to him, Changsub gives him that goofy smile that makes Sungjae’s stomach butterflies roar in joy. The nurse tells him his friend asked for him. He’s been in a car accident and doesn’t look that badly hurt but Sungjae is quick to notice the cast on his arm and stitches on the head. The car window was crashed onto him and he broke his arm and a few ribs. The other guy, who called the emergencies, doesn’t have anything. The accident was actually quite ridiculous, the breaks from the other guy’s van broke and it slid into Changsub’s car, which was stopped since he was finishing his coffee in it before heading to work. Even though he isn’t hurt that bad, the painkillers are taking their toll on him, and from the moment Sungjae’s there, he is gibbering nonsense to him. Sungjae gets to leave work early, apparently Changsub listed him as his emergency number, and he brings him home.

On the way home, Changsub goes from laughing at the birds to crying over his wasted brand new car to back at laughing, at Sungjae’s sweater this time. Needless to say Sungjae is exhausted once they’ve reached Changsub’s apartment. He settles him nicely and when he about to go away Changsub whines for him to stay because he’s gonna be scared on his own, which sounds like a lame excuse but Sungjae obliges. He ends up sleeping-over, on the couch that is a bit to small for him, and has to physically stop Changsub from going to work because the latter has apparently decided he was just fine. Which Sungjae does not agree with. And he has quite the hard time convincing Changsub to just rest.

He’s on call tonight, so he can’t go check up on him. But he does call, just to be sure. He can’t help chuckling when Changsub answers his video-call wearing those cute bear printed pyjamas and eating ice-cream, saying he is drowning in boredom. Which has Sungjae laugh. It’s a quiet night, no major accidents which is nice. When he leaves work, right on time for once, he gets a call from Changsub whining for him to come over. He laughs and doesn’t even drop by his place for a change of clothes, Changsub owns way too much clothes anyway. And they’re pretty much Sungjae’s size so he has no worry on this, besides, he’s already done it plenty of times already. When he arrives at Changsub’s, there’s a breakfast waiting for him and Changsub tells him that in his mighty goodness, he allows Sungjae to rest on his bed today, and that he needn’t worry if he’s awoken by screams of frustration, he’s been forced on a leave by work so he’s been spending his time playing online video-games against high-schoolers that are way too good. He processes saying children these days don’t study anymore, before laughing saying he was the same so he doesn’t have much to criticize and Sungjae only nods along because he’s starting to feel really sleepy, but he doesn’t want to sleep just yet.

He ends up being forced to sleep by Changsub who interrupted his story-telling to check on him. Sungjae is surprised when Changsub settles next to him, explaining that he’s been gaming for most of the night, so he’s gonna take a nap. Sungjae almost nags at him that he’s too old to be spending nights gaming but his heart is too busy skipping beats to focus on something else than the fact that they’re sleeping on the same bed. Oh, it has happened before, but never sober. He hears Changsub turning around, probably trying to find the best position not to feel his broken ribs, and Sungjae smiles because if he’s not complaining, that means he’s being careful because he thinks Sungjae is asleep already. Sungjae said it right? He’s a kind person. It takes Sungjae a while to fall asleep. The time for his erratic heartbeat to calm down. But when he wakes up, it’s, to his great dismay, to Changsub trying to wiggle his way out of his arms, although impaired by his cast.

“Oh, Sungjae, you’re awake, great.” He stills, awkwardly smiling at Sungjae. “As much as I’d love to be your pillow all day, you’re crushing me and I need to pee”.

Sungjae immediately removes his arms from around him, wondering how the hell they ended up in this position in the first place, blushing madly. He hates how Changsub is always so unaffected by this kind of events, it reminds him that despite all of his hopes, Changsub only sees him as a friend.

Sungjae figures he can nap again for a while and when he wakes back up, he smiles seeing Changsub went back to sleep too. He looks like he’s quite uncomfortable and it doesn’t surprise Sungjae in the least, broken ribs are a pain in the neck (he worked in pediatric for most of his internship at the hospital, he’s become much more polite since then). When he goes to the kitchen to see if there anything edible, he doesn’t trust Changsub’s cooking, he smiles when he find a plate with a note from Changsub telling him to enjoy. He must have slept longer than he thought. He eats before leaving for his own place. He’s gotta go home at some point you know. And he leaves a note (actually he writes on the back of Changsub’s note, the latter’s home is such a mess, he doesn’t know where to find paper) and drives back home. He stops at a market for some much needed grocery shopping. He realizes once in the store that he is still wearing Changsub’s clothes and he hasn’t even showered, he figures it’ll just join the ever growing pile of stuff that are actually Changsub’s in his wardrobe and he’ll shower once home. As he’s entering his place, he’s surprised to see Changsub’s calling him.

“What? Did I forget something?”

“Hey! Why did you leave?!” Changsub’s nagging voice snaps back.

“What?” Sungjae chuckles. “ You were sleeping.”

“You should have woken me up!”

“Why?”

There’s a long blank. Long enough for Sungjae to wonder whether Changsub is still on the other line or if he’s just left his phone.

“I don’t know!” He practically yells before hanging up on Sungjae.

Sometimes, Sungjae really doesn’t get him. Changsub always tells him never to wake him up unless there’s an emergency otherwise he’ll suffer for it. And now he’s mad because Sungjae did exactly what he wanted? Sungjae shakes his head and finishes entering his home. Changsub can be so weird sometimes.

It’s pretty much the same scenario over and over again during the two weeks leave Changsub has. He nags at Sungjae to come over, and nags at him to stay when he’s leaving. At some point, Sungjae almost got angry at him because he just doesn’t get him. But before he’s really gotten the time to talk things out because now that Sungjae thinks about it, Changub has been acting weird for quite a while, Changsub is back to work and goes back to a more normal attitude.

But Sungjae still thinks something is going on with him. You remember how he talked about Changsub occasionally giving him stares he’s not sure how to interpret? Well, he’s giving him more of those. And it’s not just the amazed looking one. Sometimes, he looks ready to punch Sungjae, sometimes, Sungjae is pretty sure he’s staring at his lips. Sometimes, he’s got that goofy smile Sungjae loves so much. Sometimes he just looks so done with life. Sungjae isn’t sure how his sight is bringing so many different emotions in Changsub, but it’s not getting better.

And then start the weirdest thing: Changsub is avoiding him. Oh, if Sungjae knew him any less than he does, he wouldn’t really have noticed it at first. But suddenly, Changsub is “too busy with work” to see him. Now, Changsub is never too busy to see Sungjae. Even if it is just for 5 minutes, ever since they’ve known each other, Changsub has always made time for him. If it was just that, Sungjae would let it slide, maybe he has a new boyfriend and isn’t ready to tell Sungjae yet, or worse, maybe he has gotten back with that asshole and that’s why he’s avoiding Sungjae. Or it could be anything else really. But then, he starts cancelling plans they’ve made some time ago. They were supposed to go seeing a baseball game; Sungjae brings another of his friends instead because Changsub cancelled on him. They had tickets for a concert, Changsub cancelled again. He cancelled their fishing outings too. And he even cancelled they yearly outing to the amusement park. They have gone unfailingly for the past five years. Now, it’s been about a month of this weird avoiding attitude, so Sungjae decides to take matters in his own hands, and just heads over to Changsub’s place. He rarely shows up unannounced because they’ve both weird schedules, but he knows for a fact that Changsub is home, he might have led a small investigation amongst their other friends, who by the way Changsub isn’t avoiding at all.

He bangs angrily on Changsub’s door; he hasn’t slept properly for a week because he doesn’t get why his best friend is avoiding him when there’s absolutely no reasons to do so. Changsub opens the door and immediately freezes. What, did he think Sungjae was really going to let it slide forever? He hesitantly lets Sungjae in, and once more that’s weird. Since when has Changsub ever been hesitant with Sungjae? They’re best friends! He’s been overly honest with him ever since they met.

“Why the fuck have you been avoiding me?” Gone are Sungjae’s good resolutions of not swearing (it started while he worked in pediatrics), he’s just hurt.

“I’m not _avoiding_ you!” Changsub answers without much convinction, he’s always been bad at lying anyway.

Sungjae crosses his arms, sighing. He asserts that he won’t leave until Changsub starts being _honest_ with him. Changsub protests that he is not being dishonest but quickly gives up when faced with Sungjae's I’m-so-done-with-your-bullshit stare.

“Alright!” He says. “I might have been avoiding you lately.”

“Might? Might would be if you’d cancelled once or twice! We haven’t seen each other for over a month! Do you have any idea of how much that hurt me?”

Changsub sighs, moving to make himself some coffee in the kitchen, Sungjae notices his hands are slightly trembling and he frowns. Is Changsub nervous? He asks Sungjae if he wants some and the latter declines, he’s taken at least three coffees before heading over. He’s been dreading to know why his friend has been avoiding him. He’s currently high on caffeine and probably won’t be able to sleep tonight too (which is alright since he's on call anyway). After a long blank, Changsub takes a deep breath. It’s weird that they’re so silent. The only noise in the room in the coffee machine.

"I felt guilty."

Changsub talks in a very quiet tone, and Sungjae hadn’t expected an answer remotely close to that.

“What do you mean guilty?” He asks, Changsub is looking down at the ground and is playing with the hem of his shirt.

“I just… I felt like I’ve been… I don’t know… It’s just… I feel like I’ve been taking advantage of your kindness.”

Sungjae is astonished. What does he mean? He’s waiting for more, an eyebrow raised and his arms still crossed over his chest. Changsub looks up at him for half-a-second before staring back at the ground.

He raises his eyes at a dumbfounded Sungjae again. Sungjae doesn’t get why he’s finding Changsub so cute right now, but you can’t always battle your own feeling all the time. So he lets his feelings take over for once and moves to embrace the older in his arms. Resulting in a hug. Which is unusual because they never hug. To his surprise, Changsub puts his arms around him too and mumbles a “I missed you” that makes Sungjae’s heart skip a beat. He hopes Changsub didn’t notice. And it turns out he probably didn’t because Sungjae suddenly realizes there are very discreet silent tears rolling down Changsub’s cheeks. Sungjae freezes. Is he really crying? It’s the first time ever Changsub cries in front of him. He didn’t even cry when he broke up with his boyfriend. Or when they watched a sad movie with a cute kid who dies at the end, Sungjae was almost sobbing and Changsub didn’t shed a single tear. Sungjae had been calling him the soulless monster for a while after that.

“Hey! What’s going on?”

As an answer, Changsub just buries his face in Sungjae’s sweater and Sungjae’s heart skip a beat again. If he wasn’t so worried, he’d probably die from all the cuteness. He doesn’t get why all his earlier angriness just flew away, but he really missed Changsub, even though he’s getting weirder by the minute…

“What’s going on?” He asks again, he’s starting to get worried now.

“I really missed you. I wanted to call you, but I thought of how selfish I was and didn’t.”

Sungjae gasps, why is his best friend such a weirdo sometimes?

“You should have!” Sungjae doesn’t even know what to say anymore.

“Why didn’t you?” He asks, pushing Sungjae away a little, as he wipes away his tears.

“Well, I’m not dumb, I noticed you were avoiding me right away and figured I should leave you some space until you came around with whatever shit you’ve been dealing with. You know, I notice it when you act weird…”

Sungjae’s almost hurt Changsub wouldn’t think Sungjae had figured him out.

“I thought you didn’t care.” Changsub is back to talking with that quiet tone and he’s still wiping his tears away. Sungjae now remembers him once telling him something about how he didn’t cry often but once he started, it could last for hours.

“Of course I care! That’s why I came today. Our amusement park tradition cancelled was too much.”

Changsub snorts, weakly smiling and Sungjae is getting himself back together, that’s right, he’s mad at Changsub! But he knows fighting is never their strong point, it usually leads nowhere because they’re both stubborn brats. He remembers the first time they had a fight, an actual one, not the bickering they often have over petty things like what movie to watch or who’s driving. No, Sungjae remembers their first big fight. It was before Changsub broke up with his boyfriend. Sungjae was going out with a guy back then. It didn’t last long but the guy kept telling Sungjae he spent too much time with Changsub and not enough with him. It was back when Sungjae was still blissfully ignorant of his own feelings. Anyway, he had gotten in a fight with Changsub because the latter told him to spend more time with his boyfriend and Sungjae retorted that Changsub shouldn’t have anything to comment on that. It quickly grew on to be a fight on all the things they were annoyed with each other, notably on Sungjae’s side, changsub’s tendency to not follow his own advices, hence the time with boyfriend thing. It had led nowhere, they hadn’t talked to each other for a few days, during which Sungjae had broken up with the guy (which was completely unrelated to Changsub; it turned out that guy was two-timing him with a nurse from the very same hospital he worked at) and they’d gone back to normal as if nothing had happened after that. It didn’t change anything, and neither had listened to the other. It just wasn’t their way of communicating. Which is why Sungjae calms himself before asking: “Is that it?”

He knows something else has been going on because now Changsub is staring into the distance, he has apparently forgotten about his coffee. He sighs before looking Sungjae right in the eyes: “I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

Sungjae doesn’t know why he’s feeling nervous all of a sudden. What does he mean? Is he blushing?

“I didn’t feel guilty just about that.” Changsub quiets down after that, he seems to be hesitating, once again, it surprises Sungjae. Changsub is usually the types that acts before thinking. “I felt guilty because” He takes a deep breath “Because I think I might be in love with you.”

Sungjae’s frozen. What? Changsub looks like he wants to be anywhere but here and Sungjae is once again too dumbfounded to say anything. But it all makes sense now. Changsub has been confused about his feelings. Sungjae can’t believe it. It must be a dream. Yet Changsub is now looking at him worriedly.

“Hey! Yook Sungjae! Don’t you dare have a stroke right here!”

Sungjae chuckles, he finds Changsub extremely brave. Because for as long as he’s been in love with him, he’s never even once considered confessing. Sungjae only realizes he’d been holding his breath once he starts breathing again. He’s not having a stroke, but he is feeling weird. Changsub assists him down on a chair.

“I knew I shouldn’t have told you.” He says shaking his head “You probably hate me now…”

“What?” Sungjae asks “Why would I hate you?”

Changsub, who’s now filling a glass with water for Sungjae stops in his tracks.

“Because I guess you must feel betrayed. I mean, we’ve been best friends for years.”

He seems surprised Sungjae isn’t following his logic. When Sungjae has been following it ever since he knew he had feelings for him.

“I don’t. I feel relieved actually.”

Changsub drops the glass he was handing him and rushes to get something to wipe the water that splashed everywhere.

“What do you mean relieved?” He asks, once again he seems hesitant.

“Because I’ve been in love with you for years, you dumb idiot.”

Sungjae feels like he might have said it too casually, but it’s only the truth. Changsub freezes for a few seconds, crouched to clear the water, then he bursts out laughing. Sungjae isn’t sure why, but he starts laughing along, Changsub’s laugh is just so damn contagious.

“We’re both dumb idiots then” Changsub manages to say after a while (after he falls down in the water he’s been wiping) “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“For the exact same reason you didn’t!” Sungjae chuckles again. This is really absurd.

Later, they’re eating dinner and Sungjae says picking up the conversation where they left it earlier:

“So, are we dating now?” he asks, once again he wonders if he isn’t being too casual.

“I guess so.” Changsub shrugs, like it’s no big deal. Which makes Sungjae smile because he knows the other is putting on a show and is probably squealing inside his head just like Sungjae is doing right now.

“Should I give you a nickname?”

Changsub stops eating, looking at Sungjae like he has grown a second head.

“Sweetie? Muffin?” Sungjae tries “Honey?”

“Muffin?” Changsub looks like he’s seriously reconsidering his life choices.

“Muffin it is then.” Sungjae settles, repressing his giggles because now Changsub looks like he’ll explode anytime soon.

“No. Way. In. Hell.”

Sungjae chuckles. “Definitely Muffin. Do you want more water Muffin?”

Changsub turns all red before changing his strategy, he smiles at Sungjae: “With great pleasure, Puddin'.”

That last word is thrown Sungjae’s way as sharp as a knife and they both burst out laughing. Nickames would never be their thing. Although Sungjae has renamed Changsub “My Muffin” in his phone contact list.

After they’ve finished dinner, Sungjae puts his coat back on, he’s on the night shift today and he’s got to go soon if he doesn’t want to be late. As he’s about to open the door, Changsub holds him back by the arm.

“Wait!” He says, grabbing Sungjae’s collar to bring his face to his level, looking determined, and Sungjae is about to ask him what is it when he kisses him. Sungjae didn’t expect him to and blushes like a teen, frozen, and there goes his heart skipping beats again. His lips are soft againt his own. It’s short and sweet and definitely not enough. As Changsub is drawing away from him, he brings him back closer, kissing him properly this time, and he can feel Changsub smiling into the kiss. As if he’s known Sungjae would react like this. As if he’s known Sungjae would finally manage to pour out his feelings like that. How he’s been wanting to do this for years, how he’s holding Changsub like his life depends on it and even after they part for some much needed hair, Sungjae is still holding him by the arm, Changsub’s hands are lost somewhere in his hair and Sungjae sighs contently. Now that he has had a taste of kissing him, he doesn’t want to stop. And he seriously questions his intelligence, why didn’t he confess earlier?

Changsub bites his lower lip, still smiling, a blush is slowing creeping up on his cheeks. “You should go to work.” He says in a small voice. Sungjae nods, slowly letting him go as Changsub retreats his hands from his hair, before changing his mind and trying to comb Sungjae’s now messy hair back into how it looked before.

Sungjae smiles as he turns to the door, ready to go when Changsub asks: “One last for the road?”

Sungjae smiles widely, turning back to him “One last for the road.” And he kisses him again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there,
> 
> I wrote this in pretty much one go, and it's such a satisfying feeling.  
> Thank you for reading, I'll now proceed to go back to do the studying I should have done instead of lazing around!  
> By the way, I tried making it obvious that Changsub did have feelings for him but I'm not sure I succeeded.
> 
> On a whole other subject, is it just me or the six months Sungjae, Hyunsik and Ilhoon have been gone feel longer than the 2 years without Eunkwang, Minhyuk and Changsub?


End file.
